The Guilty Mom

I know. I just said I would blog on something else other than the 2 Js... but at this moment, I have the need to talk about them..

You see, I feel guilty... and I feel bad. Because of my current lifestyle, I am not spending enough time with Jojo and Jelly, especially Jojo. At least Jelly can feel my presence by quietly sleeping on my room floor while I sit in front of the computer (yeah, like now) at the late hours of the night and wee hours in the morning.

What happened tonight is another classic example. Both Jojo and Jelly were so excited when I came home just now at 10-ish. Their face lit up and they were jumping up and down, running about and a look of expectancy as they came near me. They wanted to play. But I had to have my dinner/supper.... I did give them treats and petted them, and be with them a while.

Then Jojo got too excited and started acting crazy again. He jumped onto the table to grab prickly shell ornament. Luckily I got it away from him immediately. It could have hurt him!

To prevent further destruction, I decided I had to let him out of the house soon after that. The look of disappointment was written all over his face when i said `good nite'. But he didn't protest even as I locked the door.

Jelly meanwhile gleefully followed me up the stairs and into my room. But as if she knew that I have things to do and no time for her, she quietly retreated to a cosy corner and slumbered off.

Sigh. if only I can come home earlier, I would have more time to spend with them.. Or if only I could sleep earlier and wake up earlier, I could also find more time to play with them.

I feel like the busy/ambitious/career mom who leaves her kids at home with the maid and spends most of her time out of the house - work, meetings etc..

I am sorry Jojo and Jelly. I know you long for spending more time with me but I fail you... I am telling myself now to be a better mom and to adjust my time so that you would not be `neglected kids'.

I promise.