Ah! Beautiful Morning...

It's right that they say morning is the most beautiful time of the day.

If a day is a year - I would say early morning is like fresh spring time, afternoon is well, hot summer, evenings signifying the sombre autumn and the night is gloomy winter.

How interesting - as this obvious simile just dawned on me..

Why? Because I just rediscovered the beauty and preciousness of mornings - that had eluded me for far too long.

I am a self-confessed `owl' - meaning I thrive and live my day to the wee hours of the morning. Since my last posting was with an afternoon paper and doing entertainment, my work-hours were so flexible that I used to wake up close to noon, grab lunch and only enter office - since my editor did that himself! I would work till around dinner time or later.. went home and slept only about 3am.

And then, since I became a freelance writer, my sleeping hours became even more ridiculous. I blamed the Internet for such a habit at first and then, my cousin who is an even chronic owl herself told me about DSPS (Delayed Sleep Phase Syndrome) so we both have a valid `medical' reason to justify our indulgence and lack of discipline.. and just blame it on having a `sleep disorder syndrome' that we had no control of..

Not that I am proud of it and in fact many times, I've mentally taken note to want to change and adjust this habit. I posted on FB and G-chat status that Ee-Tan wants to `kill the owl' But alas, the spirit is willing but the flesh is week. I continue to let myself be consumed by this so called DSPS and it came to a stage so bad that I was sleeping at close to 5am every day and wake up after 1pm!!

My day started only after 2pm and many times, I could not do the things I wanted to do because evening and nights also have their distractions.. I found myself not being productive and fruitful in my work. And then a few times I fell ill because of that - ie. after World Cup and also before my prolong flu from Shanghai.

Another area that took a toll from my sleeping habit was the quiet time and devotion with God. It's true that morning is the best time for devotions as I personally have experienced and agree. But during morning, I was in slumber land. When I got up, I quickly checked my emails/FB and then lunch and usually out after that. I was either watching Astro on Demand or glued to the PC and by the time I realised I had to sleep, it's like 4am plus? I was already too tired and felt it's too late to speak to God!!

But God is good! He pulled me back in time.. last week, I began to feel the stress from work - as I have quite a lot of on-going as well as new workload to keep me occupied. But because of my sleeping hours and also still trying to watch Astro and do many things, I couldn't get enough sleep. Instead of waking up after 1pm, I woke up earlier and could not sleep again.. That means I only had like 5-6 hours of sleep which was not enough for me (i'm one of those who need 8 optimum hours of sleep). The patterned continue for a few days until I decided to see my doctor for help and medication.

I already was exhausted in the last few days so I took the medication earlier (ie before midnight) And somehow automatically wake up earlier. Of course it took a few days to adjust.. Finally this morning, I woke up at 7:30am (thanks to puppy Jam), laid in bed a bit, and got ready by 8am. The birds were chirping still and the weather was good. Suddenly God prompted me to do my devotion.. and ya, it's the perfect timing!

So i took my Bible and some Bible reading aids and sat at our front patio, which Dad calls` JJ Corner' (not should be JJJ!) I prayed, sang some songs of praises and read 2 Corinthian 1. I haven't felt so close to God for ages.. even if I was in church service or leading songs on stage. There was a personal connection with Him and my soul felt lifted. Oh the joy of reading and meditating on His Word!

It was 8:30am or so when I had breakfast.. and I hadn't had breakfast except a rushed one on Sunday late morning before going to church. I practice my singing as I have vocal class at 2pn today, and then proceeded to the Internet to do the necessary things - work related mainly.

Now, it's almost noon and I had done so much already... I couldn't believe I still have more than half a day (of sunlight) ahead of me!! And I even wrote such a long blog entry! And imagine I have wasted all the mornings in my working adult life!!!?

I know it's not easy to change.. old habits die hard and maybe DSPS is true though most people don't buy it. But this vicious cycle has to be broken, once and for all.. These few days since I still have the medication to help me sleep well, I think I must aim to be in bed by midnight so that I have enough sleep and would get up in the morning!! And hopefully later I will adjust to live a `normal' life!

All I need is determination and discipline.. And I pray that God will give me the strength to do it.

Mornings are too beautiful and precious to waste away... where as the dark and quiet night (wee hours pre-morning) are best for slumbering anyway..

Yes, I finally see the light, and I want to see many many more beautiful mornings

Dad's 70th Birthday: Celebrations and Surprises!

What exciting celebrations we had for dad's 70th Birthday!

Knowing that he's quite a low-key person and would not organise his own birthday party, I thought of throwing a surprise birthday dinner for him. After discussing with mom and sis, we decided to keep it as a family affairs - ie. have a nice Chinese dinner and invite his siblings and family as well as my mom's side.

To accommodate my sis and brother-in-law who are able to be back only after work on Friday, we decided to hold it on Saturday, after all, his Chinese birthday is not over yet.. I called my two aunts in Singapore and as well my other aunts and uncles in KL. Finally we got 29 people confirmed!

Of course he knew nothing about it. Instead, he thought of calling a few of his close friends over for dinner and drinks, and that happened on Wednesday (and some of them couldn't make it on Fri) And he didn't want to tell them it was for his birthday.

He really had a whale of a time on Wed night - after dinner, they went down for karaoke and really sang and drank the night a way!! Yes, he got pretty drunk...

And on his birthday proper, I told him I would cook him a nice Western meal. Ya, I do like cooking especially Western meals once in a while. :)

Dinner menu:

• fresh mushroom soup with dinner roll
• arugula, avocado and aspragus salad
• ribeye steak with red wine sauce
• roasted new potatoes
• buttered baby carrots
• molten chocolate cake with pecan vanilla ice-cream (no, i didn't make this ;p)
• red wine, brie with grapes

It was quite fun preparing for dinner and since I've had some experiences (ahem), the timing was pretty perfect and I thought I was quite organised! So everything was ready and dinner was served at 7:30pm sharp as expected!

And dad thought that was it, not knowing that the real two surprises were awaiting him.

He had no idea that my sister would come back for his birthday (it was a secret the whole family hid from him.. )

Earlier in the morning, sis has already sms him to wish him happy birthday and then in the afternoon, called and asked the kids to greet him too - telling him that they were going out that night!

Well, sis and brother-in-law took the late flight home from Hong Kong (as they were working and arrived at about 10pm. It was so funny when she returned dad's call, she was already on the cab home from airport! She even apologised for not being able to be with him on his birthday to which my dad said it's ok..

So, imagine his shock and surprise when my sis and b-i-l turned up at the gate at about 11:25pm! Dad's jaw dropped and his mouth agape. It was something he never thought of! And after hugs and all, I could see he was so touched and happy that tears welded in his eyes..

Dad would have thought was the ultimate birthday surprise for him..

The next day, we acted as usual and since sis and b-i-l were around, it was natural that we planned to go out for a meal. And we told him that the venue has been planned in advance. He was curious but I insisted we wanted to keep it as `secret'..

Of course, all the guests ie. our aunts and uncles from both sides and our cousins had all been informed personally about this surprise dinner and had been playing along with it. I found out that an uncle had to make up stories to dad about the date he was coming over (since he does come here quite often)

I texted the guests to remind them to be there at 7:30pm and we would arrive a bit late.. so dad would be greeted by a sea of people.

Perhaps dad was already elated enough to have sis back to celebrate his birthday with him, he really didn't suspect anything at all. Even when he saw an uncle's car parked at the car park of the restaurant, he just presumed it was a coincidence that they were also dining at the same place!

As we entered Elegant Inn, the restaurant manager played along and even pretended to have mixed up my booking and fumbling to find a table for us, as he led us to a darkened room. When dad pushed open the door, voices shouted `Happy Birthday!' and he was shell shocked as the lights were switched on.

Yes, he was literally stunned for a couple of seconds!

I think dad's reaction was a mixed one - of course he was happy to see all of them, including my two aunts who came specially from Singapore. But knowing him he also felt a bit bad as well.. he never wanted to trouble anyone and has always quite low profil.

But hey it's his 70th birthday after all, and that only happens once in a life time! :D

So all in there were 28 of us, seated in two big tables. It was a time of reunion and good company, to catch up with one another.

Of course, it was a time for feasting and drinking! The food was nice - I had spent some time and effort pondering over the menu and really glad it up to standard. And the service was very good (all included in the rather expensive prices!)

Drink wise, we had dad's favourite - whisky and also a few bottles of red wine.

Finally, we had special homemade birthday cake - a Rum & Raisin Cheesecake - ordered from my friend FBB. It was a really yummy, as extra rum has been added! Everyone loved it!

Besides a few quite hefty angpows, dad also received a beautiful framed painting and a collectable huge bottle of Johnny Walker that's more 20 years old.

But I'm sure, more importantly, it was the family get-together that surely made his birthday extra memorable..

... and not to mention the two big birthday surprises he would never forget! (phew, so glad we pulled it off and I gave myself a pat on my back as the mastermind.)

Happy 70th Birthday (again) dad, and ya, you deserve all the attention!! :D

Pondering a `Cross-road'?

Somehow, I feel my life is at some kind of `crossroad' lately..

Perhaps it's to do with work and income - or the lack of it; a small part to do with the end of a relationship; and as a result the roaming of the mind thinking of unfulfilled dreams and aspirations - career, personal, spiritual... and then wondering as we're in the eighth month of 2010 and where my future lies..

I feel kinda lost sometimes.. :(

Yes, I know I am blessed. I don't have to worry about many things. I get to enjoy life as many see it - to pursue my interests, to have freedom to relax while many slog at work, and also hold a `job' that I love.. On top of that, I have God, a loving family, many friends.. so what else do I lack?

Well, blame my personality.... While I know and I'm independent, capable, confident in carrying out whatever I believe I could do, another part of me that I somehow feel I lack control of - I lack motivation, drive, discipline and worst of all self-control... to certain extent.

Ok, so last year I achieved something I am proud of - that that took lots of motivation, drive, discipline and self-control. I managed to lose significant amount of weight and `revamp' my appearance so to speak. But now I'm wondering why I can't translate that to other facets of my life - ie. my career, my ministries in God's kingdom, and general self-improvement which I am so far behind..

By self improvement, I mean things like reading to enhance my knowledge - articles and columns, news, books (i mean even frivolous books I hardly bother to read) but rather, I have been `wasting' too much time on things like Facebook (but thankfully I cut off the games addiction), watching HK series and God knows what else.. And what about the daily devotion time - reading the Bible, praying and meditating, which I so desired to do? Then there's exercise.. I regret to say since CNY, my fitness regime has totally gone down the drain..

It's not like I have been idle either. Just that for about 3-4 months this year, I have channeled my energy/time to something that unfortunately did not work-out.. to put it simply. I guess it's part and parcel of life experience and I'm still gradually picking up the pieces in a way, though life goes on as normal...

And now, after the `extended holiday' of family reunion etc.. and all is back to track, I'm faced with certain dilemmas. Firstly, work wise, what I thought was looking positive one to two months back unfortunately saw changes and I'm losing a current regular contribution as well as a couple of promising prospects. Other works are at best quarterly contribution and others adhoc. It makes me think.. could this be a `sign' that I might want to rethink of my career path? The thing is, I still love writing. In fact, the journalist in me would keep in view of interesting people/places I go.. It's nothing more satisfying to see your writing in print. But these days, I am not doing so much of `original' writing but many compiling, interviews that do not really test my writing skills (so maybe it's good to blog more regularly just to hone the skills.)

What about back to full-time work? I've been asked and my answer is still the same. Unless there's a job that offers equally great challenges, work satisfaction and remuneration, then I would consider.. So far, I have yet to find one and to be honest, it's hard for me to leave the freelancing lifestyle and freedom! If so, I have push myself more and also trust God to provide me with more work as a freelancer.

Spiritually, I know I have been quite `dry' in my walk but all the while from the people and places I go, I'm reminded again and again of His faithfulness. So I guess I should consciously live and commit myself and my life to the Lord daily and I believe He would guide. There is a nagging voice that still prompts me now and again to heed His calling and less of my own selfish desires..

Which brings me to this personal dream that I have been harbouring for some two years now. It's always been my dream to go to Italy, ever since a short visit after graduation. I love the country and felt so at home even though I didn't speak a word of Italian then.. Because of my vocal training, I started singing Italian arias.. Then the passion rekindled and I took up Italian lesson beginning of last year, which I enjoyed a lot. With the influence and encouragement of my first teacher, I really wanted to go to Italy - not just for a short vacation but to stay there for at least 2 months or so to study singing and language. Of course, the main factor would be financial. It's not easy to get sponsorship due to my age :( and that means I need to fork out quite a huge sum. But now that I have some contacts with my three Italian teachers who could help me in certain ways, it's a `dream' that can come true.. and in fact, I'm seriously considering and planning to go there in September 2011.

I'm praying for God's blessings in this plan of mine too...

So in the mean time, I know need more motivation, drive, discipline and self-control... to do what I should do.. no use feeling `sorry' for the inadequacy..

And I know, I am not lost really. And even if I'm at a crossroad - I should be reminded that His Cross would lead me onwards..

12-days away!

No, I'm not going away for vacation for 12 days.. that would be nice. It just happens that my schedule has happened in such a way that three events have fallen back-to-back!

In early Nov last year, I have already booked my `coming-of-age' first solo-trip to Bali -the beautiful island i've already visited twice and still longed to go again.. I thought early March would be a good date and after trying to get the cheapest available flights, I would be flying off on March 6 morning and back on March 10 night - 4-nites and 5 full days.. And as of early this year, I have been busy surfing and hunting the Internet for suitable accommodations (ie. nicest within my budget) and was quite pleased with the choices..

I've digressed.. so why 12 days? It so happened that end of last year, I was contacted by the organiser of the Malaysian International Furniture Fair (MIFF) to be their show newsletter writer. Actually I was supposed to be part of the team last year but couldn't do it due to my involvement with another project. This time, the working date happened to be March 1-5, ending just the day before my schedule Bali trip! As i really do need extra and fast income, this job is ideal BUT although it' based in KL, we are to be put up in a hotel near by the exhibitions for the whole five days.. I heard we will be staying at the Grand Seasons - which is not bad. :)

And then just a few weeks before CNY, i was offered a short-trip assignment by a new magazine I'm contributing to - to Westin Langkawi Resort to review the food and spa. And the date happens to be Feb 27-28 - just one day before my job with MIFF. First i wasn't sure whether I should take it but after meeting with the marketing people and understanding the `light' nature of the assignment - I need to write two short pieces. And I get to enjoy free accommodation, food and spa in a five-star resort. No reasons for turning it down!

So I'll be flying off tomorrow tomorrow morning and would get to stay one night, and then another night back home in between the MIFF stint and my Bali holiday! Well.. at least it will be work first, and holiday later.. and I'm really looking forward to my 4-days escapade in Bali.

In the mean time tho, I am a bit worried about next Mon to Fri - as I have not done a 9am-5pm (well actually it would end later) for eons!! I would have to get up at 7-something each morning -which is really quite a daunting thing for this owl. My normal sleeping time is from 4am-noon...

Oh well... it's good to be out of the comfort zone sometimes.. and after all, I have Bali to look forward to!

So I will be packing in and out of suitcases. Just for the sake of frivolity, here are two photos of the suitcases I plan to bring for the 3 `trips' - and it will be in the order of the smallest to the largest.

And here's Jelly trying to get into the photo! :p

Just ONE specific resolution but but there are some plans and wishes

Since I promised at my `year in review' post that I'll talk a bit about my aspirations and resolutions for 2010, so here I am although I don't feel so inspired to write about it as I did for that post!

You know, I always believe in setting resolutions for a new year.. although I always wrestle with them as well. And so in the last four years that I blogged, I have dedicated a `resolution post' marking a new year here, here, here and here. However for 2009 I realised I didn't really write much about any resolution.. could it be because of that I have not really achieved anything significant - albeit it was an eventful year! ?

And if you read these year-end/beginning post on resolutions, you'd realise there were some similar patterns.. I could easily take the resolutions for 2008 and `rehash' them for 2010.. because honestly I haven't achieved almost all of them saved the `diet and slimming' bit. And really they are all important too.

But today after chatting online with a friend, I was inspired to not be `greedy' and focus on just ONE resolution that I really feel is vital for me to want to fulfill. And somehow I believe if I could realise this resolution, my other sub-resolutions from years back could gradually fall into place..

And I'm dedicating and committing this resolution to God Himself.. for I know if I do it, He would be pleased and my Christian walk would be even more fulfilling. Actually it's a basic prerequisite of living a Christian life which I have failed so badly all the time especially in the last year!

So my one only resolution which I am putting down in black&white to remind myself is:

To have my daily devotion with the Lord - i.e. setting apart 15 mins or so (can be more) to read and meditate on Scripture, to pray and to listen upon the Lord.

Only 15 mins a day, and you would wonder how difficult that could be?! Sigh. because of my lack of discipline and self-control, I'm always being distracted by other things esp. the Internet! And doing my Q.T. (quiet time) has sadly been neglected and even forgotten at some stage!

If you're not a Christian, let me explain why doing our devotion is important.. It's basically an intimate time you spend alone with your God. If you're devoted to your spouse/parents/children/bf or gf you would want to spend some quality time communicating with them daily. It's the same with God. I know I could call on Him anytime if I need to but I believe He would be more pleased if I set aside time to have an `appointment' with him daily.. reading what He wants to tell me and conversing with Him through prayers..

And doing devotion regularly actually benefit us not God.. we are the one who need guidance and constant teaching and surely our spiritual life will feel dry if we do not have this relationship with our God through our personal devotion..

Of course, I have other wishes and plans.. one of which is to travel to the U.S. - which I have longed to do so for more than 3 years now. I really really want to visit NYC but I probably will go look for my friend in SF and we can go together to the Big Apple. I know the trip will cost a bomb - and I would need to `eat into' some of my non-cash savings.. But this is the desire of my heart and I know God is faithful if He feels I deserve this journey, I know I will get to go.. if really not this year then soon..

Work wise, I have made a decision on NY eve. I'll register my own enterprise under sole proprietor ship next week, and also to reprint my card and set up a work blog. I even thought of the name already but will disclose a bit later. The reason being I feel I want to treat my freelancing writing career more seriously. Especially since now I've diversified to other forms of non-editorial writing. There is a market as long as I work harder to expand my network and try to clinch more jobs. I know God has been providing and there are doors opening already. So yes, lets pray and hope 2010 will be a even better year, or even a turning-point for this freelancer.

Other plans and wishes? There are of course but I feel I don't really need to list them here. Maybe one of them is that I should blog again more regularly. This would also spur on my inspiration and flair for writing. Facebooking and getting addicted to FB games doesn't really help!

So, I hope that at the end of 2010 when I review this post, I can truly say that yes, I've managed finally to have achieved my new year resolution.

Family Holiday in Wuyishan

Wuyi Mountain in Fujian, China

Gorgeous scenery ya.. This is where I'll be going for a family holiday this weekend till early next week. Don't really know much about it and plan to read up a bit before flying off on Saturday!

It'll also be the first time since our studying days that the four of us - dad, mom, sis and me - go on a holiday together! Since she got hitched quite soon after and it's always with bro-in-law and then the kids too.. it'll be kinda dejavu hehe..

I have a few more holidays in plan after this.. Hong Kong end of next month to celebrate Miu Miu and Sean's birthdays; the Rainforest Music Fest, and hopefully Bali too.. before a one-month missions work stint in Kunming, China in September. More on that later..

Meanwhile, am looking forward to the fantasy-like scenery of Wuyi Mountain.. hopefully i'll be inspired enough to blog about it too!!

An exciting month of May!

Happy Labour Day!

After staying put at home for the first four months of the year (yes, FOUR months!! - how time has flown by!) I'll be traveling quite a bit in the first half of May..!

This afternoon, I'm flying off to Langkawi for the Wildnerness Langkawi Challenge 2008. Hah, lest you think I'm that adventurous to enter such physically gruelling race, it's actually for work. I'll be doing some write-up for the organiser of the race so that they could provide info for the media that couldn't make it. Yeah, it's over the labour day weekend.

It was quite a last minute thing as I only spoke to the organiser last Friday and only by Monday afternoon the job was confirmed. Although I'm not really a sporty person as such, I see it as a good experience and exposure, plus the fees they agreed to pay me was pretty good too! :)

Oh, besides covering the race, I'll get to meet the winning teams of Amazing Race Asia as well as interview our cute astronaut Dr Sheikh Muszaphar Shukor - no, not on his space journey on his charitable projects - he'll be there to give motivational talks to some children, and he's published a book for charity.

So yeah.. I'll be away until Sunday and then the following couple days I'll need to finish all my work at hand before going off again next Thursday for a family holiday!

Our trip is to celebrate dad and mom's 40th wedding anniversary! They tied the knot on May 12th, 1968.

The three of us will be going to Macau and stay at the huge and famous Venetian (which looks kinda gaudy but nevertheless fascinating to me) for two nights, before going across the border into the mainland and join my sis and her family at Zhuhai, a coastal town. We'll be spending two nights there at the Ocean Spring Resort - from the little I read, it's another huge theme-park kinda resort which will definitely go down with the kids! For me, both Venetian and this place would be new so there's something to experience. But most importantly, is to spend time with my family :)

Following that, we'll take a ferry back to Hong Kong island for the remaining part of our vacation. I'll be staying with sis while dad and mom will be at a hotel near by. Haven't exactly thought of what to do for just three days in HK this time but I know I want to go eat Krispy Kreme! hehe.. yeah, I'm having this doughnuts craze - last two weeks, I have bought Big Apple and J.Co and they're lovely too.. But I must revisit Krispy Kreme again and perhaps ask HL to bring me since my sis will be working.. :p

I'll restrain my shopping urge this time round (*keeping fingers crossed*) as I'm really very tight and can't afford to shop - and since I have nothing I need to buy anyway..

So I'll be back on May 15 and for the second part of the month, it won't be that fun. There will be lots of deadlines to clear..!

My Battle with Fat (part 2 - Now: the new and healthier way!)

Today will be the 7th day of my new slimming program. No no, God forbids I joined another slimming centre.. but I did `enrol' into a weight loss program of sort, with professional guidance. BUT, it is not a slimming center.. It is way cheaper and to me, healthier and make more sense.

Basically I'm on a meal replacement program - using the formula supplied by Herbalife. I just found out after I decided to try it that it is actually quite established and many people have heard of this, which is also a direct marketing business. But to me most importantly because the person who is selling me the products is someone I know and I am quite amazed how he managed to lose so much weight. On top of that, when he let me tried the product, it actually tasted pretty good! Not like some formula I have tried years ago which was quite yucky. It also has various flavour so not so monotonous.

Like I said in part 1, I knew on Jan 1 that I would need some kinda help to lose weight. Telling myself I'm on a diet (AGAIN!!) won't work. For I really lack the will power especially when it comes to food. So I know that if I `sign up' with my friend and get the product, which although still expensive, but much more affordable compared to other weight loss centre (ie. machine treatment type), my mindset would be different.

True enough, it has been working! I went for consultation last Thursday and began the program on Friday - actually had a test trial for Thurs itself and didn't feel hungry until much later in the evening. I was a bit amazed that the shake (which is less thick than a real milk shake) is very filling and can indeed be a supplement as a proper meal!

To start with, I was instructed to take the shake (which consists of all kinds of nutrition and vitamins) and whey protein (the accompaniment of the shake that gives you the extra protein) for breakfast and dinner. For lunch, I could still eat normal food - but non-fattening stuff and less in quantity. Throughout the day, I would also be taking a lemon tea - which function is to speed up the metabolism rate and helps to burn the fat in the body.

Only one normal meal a day.. but I am allowed to snack a little - healthy snack of course, in between meals. The key word is sensibility and moderation. But I find myself only needingi to snack a bit if I sleep late at night. For the shake does make you feel quite full. So yes, you can say for a week, I have succeeded in following through my new diet and slimming program

And it was also easier than I imagined.. I think it's very important if you start off with a positive mindset. Yes I do sometimes think of some yummy food and get a bit tempted seeing what my parents eat.. but I just tell myself it's ok, I've had been eating so much last year and I also try to not subject myself to temptation if possible!

That's not it. It is not just a diet thing. It is actually lifestyle changing - and for better too. You see, because I have to take all three meals, i am forced to get up by nine something in the morning to have (shake) breakfast! And that means I am `forced to' sleep around 1am the latest! Herbalife actually contributes to killing the owl!!

Unlike slimming centres, my friend did stress the importance of exercise. For this program it's advisable to sweat it out at least three times a week. The best would be around 20 mins of exercise daily! Of course daily is a bit unrealistic for me but I will be going to gym this afternoon which means in this week, I would have achieved exercising three times!

You see why I'm so excited and willing to `line my dirty laundry in public' so to speak and talk about my battle with fat and all the ups and downs of my weight loss ordeals? Because I am so thrilled to discover one that not only would help me lose weight - (but don't know how fast or effective yet on me) - but also help to CHANGE my rather unhealthy lifestyle or never eating breakfast and irregular exercise routine. AND of course CHANGE my over-indulging and unhealthy eating patterns too!!

So that's it. My new year resolutions had been pretty good in terms of personal lifestyle and discipline is concerned.. I also hope I can do so for my work, and more importantly for my spiritual life.

My Battle with Fat (part 1 - the history)

To be honest, Jan 1 did not start off well as far as resolutions is concerned. However, 10 days later on Jan 11, I began my NEW lifstyle.

And I'm glad that because of one resolution, it leads to 2 more resolutions going to be realised, ok, maybe not so soon but at least in progress!

What is it you may ask? Well, the `inspiration' came when I was working out in gym on new year's day and when I caught my reflection in the mirror when doing some leg press, I was horrified to see how FAT my tummy was! Sure i do look know I'm getting more overweight but the unsightly bulge resembling a five-month pregnant woman just hit me there and then!

So I told myself I just had to do something about it.. going on a diet and exercising on my own would not do because I know how difficult and also slow in effects that would be. My mind turned and I thought of getting professional help (again) but no, I have told myself I would not waste my money on joining slimming centres.

I decided on another method and I've embarked on it. But before I devulge the details, I need to put all this in context thus for the first time on a public blog, I'm exposing to you the history of `my battle with fat' since the early 1990s..

I am not big-built, and rather shortl.. yet I was never slender since my teens. But when I started working after graduation was the time my weight started to increase.. I love eating you see and I think those who know me know my poor self-control especially when it comes to food! But yet, I still care about my appearance... and I know I should loose some weight although I would like to term myself plump rather than fat.. but I was in self denial but the stats spoke for themselves although bulges could be hidden partly with clothings..

I'm not ashame to confess I have signed up (that means forked out A LOT of money) with no less than FOUR professional slimming centres in my life because I did need them - as I said, starting way back to 1992 when I ballooned after joing my first job. It was just a diet centre more than anything else, and although I succeeded to a certain extent, it was really miserable not be able to eat anything but tiny portions of steam/grilled meat, vege and certain fruits.. for weeks after weeks..

The seconed one I joined was a well known international chain that used the famous cold wrap methods. Well, the impetus to get professional help again was that I looked forward to slim down to be a bridesmaid for my good friend. That was at the turn of the millineum and I spent about eight months and a huge sum of money all in and manage to lose 10kg and more than 3 inch off my waist! Pretty good results and everyone noticed and commented how I lost weight but it wasn't without heavy price (literally speaking).

I felt good but that new image was short-lived too. After I stopped going there the following year, I gradually put back on, because I was eating back to normal portion and had no more treatments. So just slightly more than one year later I was almost back to my previous appearance..

Then a couple of years later, I decided to do it gradually and pay lesser.. This time using the Ultrasound method offered by another slimming center chain. Alas, it was slower and very gradual weight loss.. but the money aint cheap either. I decided to give up after just a few kg lighter and not a lot slimmer.

So I thought that would be the last time i ever `throw' my money and not mentioning time to lose weight... then I did it again! It started when I attended an assignment I think about 4 years or so back and it was on our advertiser - a newer slimming centre in town. By then slimming centres had mushroomed across the city giving you plenty of choice. Well, since I covered their event which also saw them recruit new clients there and then, I itchily asked about the program and then got persuaded to sign up as they promised to give me a good discount.

However, the result wasn't very good either after a few sessions.. And then I found out a journalist was offered a free trial package on their slimming course!! I thought I needed another series anyway and I was lucky that an editor I was writing for agreed for me to write about my slimming experience.

But things changed when I started that FOC course. The friendly and courteous treatment I enjoyed was changed to a more casual and even demanding! I mean they want me have result so i can write good things about them. So if missed one session (due to work normally) or come less frequent than I was told, I actually was admolished by this particular consultant! I felt as if I owed it to them.. I'm no longer their client but they are my`boss'!

People who know me know I won't succumb or bow down to such treatment - my nature and my `privilege' as the Media. I was a bit cheesed off and also I began to regret.. these treatments are taking too much of my time (no I couldn't claim OT cos i was moonlighting for this one actually) so one fine day I just decided I would stop it.. I just never went back again.

After this experience, I told myself `forget about slimming centres'! - if I need and want to loose weight, I will do it myself - with will power, disciplined and determination.

But all those qualities I still lacked and alas, although losing weight has always been one of my New Year resolutions in the past donkey years, I had never succeeded. I have gradually put on even and then in the whole of 2007, I didn't even ATTEMPT to go on a diet at all..

Thus I reached my all time high weight, and fat level (despite the gym which wasn't that regular as well) And when this new year dawned... suddenly I was slapped awaken!

to be continued...

A RESOLUTE 2008

Noticed I didn't put `resolutions' in my title, but I'm resolute to want to have a better and more fruitful year 2008, compared to a fun but cushy year that's just about to pass in hours.

Had been speaking to some friends about how I felt of my `under-achievement' in 2007, and the confessions of how much time I've wasted on Facebook and also how terribly I have been taking care of my personal finance.. among other disgruntles!

I'm glad to get some useful tips and sound advice as to how I could work towards the resolutions I wanted to set for myself in the new year. Actually my NY resolutions have not been much different at all in the last decade I would say.. or even beyond! Which means something is not right because I never really achieved them.. I could not set more ambitious resolutions because I'm still stuck with the same ones that I'm struggling to achieve.

Take for eg. my owl-like sleeping habit. Or the perennial `favourite' - to diet and lose weight. Of course there are many more pertaining to my career, finance, personal and spiritual life.. And there is no improvement - maybe the other way round - of my status today compared to say 5 years ago.

Which brings me back to my resolute action plan that I'm going to lay out today - on the last day of 2007. I will analyse what went wrong in the specific areas, and then will draw up an action plan. I'm even going as far as to draw up a `daily schedule' out for myself to adhere to - maybe not in the strict sense but at least I'm following a general framework. Being a freelance writer, I have way too much freedom to the extent of me abusing and wasting precious time.. So that's something that I need to set right.

And I will do all these not online but on ink and paper. For I already am spending too much time on the Internet.

My action plan will include these few categories:

• Daily lifestyle - working time, time spent in devotion, leisure time (including Internet time!) and bed time
• Work - to record the amount of work and payment as well as to seek for more if needed
• Finance - to record daily expenditure and to cut down on unnecessary spendings
• Exercise - to allocate 2-3 times a week to go to gym
• Diet - to not be greedy and over-eat and cut down on sugar and oil and fat
• Spiritual - to start a spiritual journal, continue reading One-Year-Bible and daily devotion
• Ministries - to be involved and be committed in 2 main ministries

Other personal betterment is a little more intangible - basically it involves developing the Fruit of the Spirit as written in Galatians 5:22, especially in the `patience' and `self-control' departments.

Gosh, this looks like the most ambitious New Year `resolutions' I've ever set out to do. So much to write down! Now I can make use of the many unused diaries and notebooks over the years! In the past, I have only listed out what I want to achieve but have never really thought of HOW to achieve it. With my action plan in place, hopefully it makes it easier to work towards the goal. Writing all the bits and pieces down in black&white is basically to make it more structural and clear so that I have something to start with.. and hopefully will be resolute enough to carry it through..

And it all boils down to one word: RESOLUTENESS. And to think that I've always taken the word `resolution' too lightly. It's time to buck up and change.

Bali High...

I have been wanting to go to Bali for the last couple of years already... but somehow due to one reason and another, it never materialised. And I only listened in envy from friends who had been there..

So you can imagine my excitemet now.. because, I am fianlly going to Bali! I'll be going tomorrow (or today rather) till Sunday!!

Since I have quit my job, I was adament this time that by hook or by crook I must make it there this time. And then I asked two fellow-journo friends along and were glad to know they were just as game as me to travel. As I was the free one, I did all the planning and bookings - and managed to get a pretty good deal - Air Asia return and four-nights accommodation in a 3-4 star hotel for just RM753 each! Cool! ;)

We more or less have set a rough iteninary.. we will be staying in Kuta at the quaint Poppies Cottage, and plan to visit Ubud, some temples in Tanah Lot, Uluwatu, maybe the volcanoes and of course to pamper ourselves at spa, go shopping and eating etc.. From my travel guide, there are just so much to see and do in Bali and our four days there won't be sufficient.. But I told myself this will just be my introductory trip there and I would definitely go back again. Even dad is interested so maybe will bring parents there next time!

Now that I have heard so much and read so much about Bali, I just hope when I am really there, it will live up to my expectation.. or perhaps I should try to contain my excitement a bit..

I think I'm not a very good packer. While packing for four days, I ended up packing things in my room - like all my t-shirts (tonnes of them), skincare, accessories and toilettry bags etc.. I really have too many junk!!

Back to Bali.. I was initially concerned for January is rainy season there. But when I checked the weather forecast on three different websites, they all predicted dry days ahead - albeit cloudy! Hooray, that's great news.. thank God :)

Oh, I think I've really caught the travel bug! Air Asia has just started its 1 million free seats promotion and as I was just sharing this with a friend, we decided to just go book a holiday later in the year! Well, it says RM0 for the flight but of course it is not really free cos there is the tax.. still it's pretty cheap flights that one would never get with another airline..

We plan to go to Bangkok in July.. the website must have so much traffic that I had problem completing the booking and had to try many times! Finally the booking was done!

And now, think I'm on my `Bali high' for my long-awaited holiday! :D

Wrestling with Resolutions

Three (almost four now) days into the new year and I've not listed out or talked about any concrete NY resolutions..

Those who know me may find this to be a surprise. As far as I myself could remember, I've always been one who entered into a new year with optimism and enthusiasm, and with a list of things I wanted to achieve in that fresh new year!

They would cover different aspects of my spiritual, work and personal life.. some are more specific, and some more general. I even blogged about my new year resolutions on the last day of 2005.. for the year that has just passed.

But guess what? I failed almost all of them miserably! Perhaps the only one which I did make a little of progress is in the fitness department. But looking back at my own calender of going to gym, there were several months in the year I was totally sedentary too.

This is nothing new really... for as long as I remember, I could never lived up to my so-called NY resolutions.. For certain years, I started off not too badly, but then slacked along the way. Then for others, the resolutions totally never took off!!

Sigh. :(

Maybe I'm older and `wiser'(?) or just more realistic and a little more cynical. This year I don't even have the motivation to set proper NY resolutions anymore.. cos I don't have the courage to list them down and see that I not able to accomplish them again for the umpteenth time!

Having said that, in my mind, there are some areas that I would like to work on..

Yeah, I think it's wise not to call them `resolutions', but more like trying to overcome some of the struggles and weaknesses that I know I should improve on..

For instance, I need to change the owl-like pattern.. No, I'm not going to be drastic and say I would wake up at 7am every morning! But I must stop sleeping at 3-4am on a regular basis.. and try to get up earlier..

Another area in dire need of attention is my weight problem. Yes, I am now exercising quite regularly but no, I have not lost weight - instead the contrary! Maybe not working had made me too comfortable and I just love food too much! I've reached an all-time high in the weight department - and the inches too!! ARGH!! So yes, losing weight is an aged old battle that I have to fight this year.. and this will go hand-in-hand with working out.

As I type this, I can think of more things I hope to do this year -`hope' is the word - such as be prudent on my spending and save some money, read more books (I have TONNES of books unread on my shelves), play the piano more (I'm now quite rusty - wasted the Grade 8!)

However, there is one `resolution' quite specific that I really hope and pray I would accomplish.. and that is to read the whole Bible this year. For that I have bought the `One Year Bible' which is structured in such a way that if I just followed it diligently, I could make it. The lady at the shop proudly told me it was not difficult as she did it.

Err... I know, all these need quite a bit of hard work and self-discipline but they're not unachiveable.

To think of it, maybe I should list `blog regularly' as one of my resolutions! After all, this is something that I managed to do for the whole 2006! (and since I started blogging in 2005)

It's funny that I failed badly in those things that really mattered but kept doing something like blogging.. Isn't life an irony? Or is it just me?

But the optimist in me still believe I can make this a better year, if I really want it to be. And maybe blogging, like writing, has its place too.. as it can serve as a reminder and a testimony. ;)

Looking forward to ... :)

Just did a count(down) - 23 more working days to go and then I am FREE!!

To think of it, it's quite timely to quit at this time.. as according to past experience, my last month of service will be rather quiet - as it is the fasting month. In fact, I'm even tempted to take two days leave at the end so I leave before Raya. Will think about that...

Sis and nephews and niece will be back end of Oct for week, in conjunction with mom's birthday. Can't wait to see the kids!, especially little Alexis.. All three of them got loads of presents waiting for them already. Originally dad and mom were supposed to go HK a couple of weeks back but the trip was canceled.

Nov will be a time of relaxing/lepaking. But 2nd half of the month, I'll be given the responsibility to look after the house and grandma and a new maid (also with a current one) when dad and mom go to Australia a two-week holiday with their friends. And when they return.. hehe, it's my turn.

Since I've already decided to take a break till end of the year, I thought I should seize the opportunity to travel a bit! I'll still go to Hong Kong as planned long time ago, but that doesnt seem enough :p (since HK is so familiar already) I'll also be going to Taipei!

I've only been to Taiwan once and that was more than 20 years ago! I chose the place as it fits in my travel route nicely.. and best of all, managed to find a friend who is keen to go there too!
Was busy calling travel agent over Fri-Sat to book since it's Matta Fair now. It wont exactly be budget though as we are going on free-and-easy. So have to fork out some of my last month's pay and bonus..



So it will be a 10-day holiday for me in early December - 4 days in Taipei and 6 days in Hong Kong. Planned to go Disneyland, catch up with friends and maybe Macau if there's time... Will be back for my birthday and Christmas.. (errr.. not really looking forward to the former though!)

Gasp! And then.. that will be the end of 2006 already! :0

Month of Entertainment!

August is the month of concerts!

The Malaysia entertainment calendar is packed to the brim. Every weekend there are surely some concerts being staged either in Kuala Lumpur or other parts of Malaysia; and Genting Highland is hosting the bulk of it.

Since most of the artistes are from the Chinese music scenes, that means I'll be covering them.. and I could more or less choose the ones I prefer to go unless it's ordered by my editor.

Here is how it looks:
August 5 - Jim Brickman in Genting - going (did a cover story and contest)
August 6 - Gary Cao Ge's showcase in KL - going (he's up-and-coming)
August 12 - 8TV's Summer Live concert (featuring Taiwan, HK and local artistes) in JB - going (quite big and 8TV is under Media Prima)
August 12 - Harlem Yu in Genting - not going
August 18 - INXS in KL - colleague going
August 18-19 - Twins in Genting - going only if boss insists
August 25-26 - Paula Tsui in Genting - too old for our readers ;p
August 26 - Eason Chan in KL - going!

Quite a lot right? And not to mention the performing arts fraternity are also having musicals and plays such as PGLtM, Refugee Images, The Two of Us, Broken Bridges etc...(on the first day of the month, mom and I caught Grandissimo - featuring local and Taiwanese soprano and a talented youth orchestra from Taiwan). I hope to catch some of these show but not PGLtM since I've already watched it earlier in the year. Will recommend those who haven't gone to go though.. it is good!

Oh, I also got two comp tix for Starlight Cinema. But looking at my schedule.. don't think will have time for that and have already watched most of the movies anyway..

So it looks like another of those `entertainment overload' periods.. It might sound like fun but I guess I treat it as half-half (ie. half work, half leisure) compared to some of my colleagues who think of it as just work!

Will see how I survive, as there are also other work to be done, as well as church commitment which can't take a back seat. And not to forget my exercise regime!!

Guess who I will be watching tonight? Yep, the talented pianist who unabashedly celebrates romance...

I Need a Holiday and I'm Going on One!! :)

Amidst the overwhelming busyness and `excitement' (read: stresses) at work place, a break is always welcome.

So that's what I'm going to do - after all, this short holiday has been planned since the beginning of the year!

From next Wednesday to Saturday, I will be going to Siem Reap, Cambodia, for a vacation and yeah, you bet I'm looking forward to it.



It all happened one night over Yahoo IM when Lynn and I decided there and then to book flight to somewhere near with Air Asia since it was having those cheap promotional rates. My first choice would be Bali but Lynn prefered to go Cambodia and I didn't mind since I also love to visit the grand temples of Angkor Wat.

It seemed the trip was so far away then but now it's just around the corner! We have also booked our accommodation online - comparing a host of nice little hotels, and then even got ourselves transport (tutut) booked as well!

I almost had a fit when I found out a month ago that all our leaves have been frozen! But of course I was not going to let that stop me so I went straight to the big boss and wrote a long letter.. and thankfully, my leave was approved. After all it's only three days and it won't jeopardise my work.

Back to Siem Reap. Hmm.. actually my knowledge of the place is really minimal. Have only heard of Angkor Wat but there are many other places of interests! I didn't even know there are many more `little angkor wat temples'... of course they have their own names! :p



Was told to expect hot weather.. but I hope it will stay dry most of the time. A couple of friends were there a month back and it rained. Anyway, the weather here is so dreay and clouded by haze.. so don't mind a change!

But it's somehow untimely (or fortunately, if you look at it the other way) that this holiday comes during a `crisis period' at work. The situation is getting from bad to worse.. everyone is disgruntled and disillusioned with the way things are run. We thrashed things out in our department's meeting on Friday and now, a meeting will be scheduled with the big bosses on Monday evening.. hope we will come to some solutions.

Argh! I was supposed to blog about my coming holiday and I brought in work again! Anyway, I am planning to finish all my work as fast as I can, so I can come home early on Tuesday to prepare for the early flight the next morning!

Can't wait...! I really need a holiday! And I think this is gonna be fun and exciting! :)

Facing up to Challenges...

Yep, we have barely crossed the mid year mark and now am faced with some challenges - good or bad..

First it's work. Am feeling increasingly unhappy and disgruntled with my work situation.. I think I've already come to the point when I try to detatch myself from my stories as far as I can, as in, if the stories are cut or changed, I'm not so bothered anymore..

So for instance last week when the top 10 under-rated restaurant piece was chopped to the minimal, I didn't make any noise. And even if my album review has been rewritten.. I also left it. But looking at my latest performing arts story, I couldn't help but got upset!

First, the length was cut from 600-700 (which I was told was the length it should be) to merely 300 plus!! And worst of all, it has been rewritten to such a choppy and ameaturish style that for goodness sake, I'd rather not have my byline there!

It's not that they don't have space.. they somehow use the pix real big and more than one too while choose to take away the content.. I really don't know why! Honestly it was not a complicated piece as I actually base it on a press release..

I got infuriated and sms-ed my direct editor on my grouses. And his reply was that this `problem' has been solved as certain sub-editors have been told to lay hands off our Weekend Buzz pieces.. and that mine is not the only problem. Yeah I gather that other colleagues' pieces have been changed too but looking at the content, mine was the worst victim this time!

Sigh. In situation like this, I really want out but unfortunately, my request to be transferred has been refused... without a time frame too.

Ok, enough of work.. which actually has its more share of problems but I shall not devulge here.

Maybe on a more positive note, I will share a bit about what our peer group is embarking on from next month - The Alpha Course.

Went for an afternoon of `training' yesterday at church as I will be continuing as a group leader and all the leaders and helpers are required to know what the course is all about and how we play our role.

Alpha is basically a very useful program where we are to invite our non-Christians or new Christians friends to join.. it covers a series of very interestinng and pertinent topics to explore the Christian faith.. and the intereting thing is, it is not a lecture. We all will watch a video when a topic is raised and everyone is welcome to freely discuss on it.

It is a friendly, non-threatening gathering which has been run in many countries worldwide.. and our church has started on it a year or two ago.

Now, the CCF (College and Career Fellowship) is going to run the program on our Friday night meeting.. and we are starting on August 4, which is less than three weeks away!

We went through some videos for leaders training and although we are all Bible Study leaders, we found out that this is going to be very challenging as we can't use our normal BS leading ways to lead the small group discussions.. We are meant to be faciliator, not one that give the answers and we must respect all sorts of comments and questions asked..

Of course there are things to be read up to prepare ourselves.. but i think for all of us, myself included, one of the greatest challanges will be to invite our friends to come for Alpha. It is especially challenging not because I think most people are against this kind of course but more so the commitment and time factor. Ideally, we would like our friends to join us for 13 weeks - the duration of the course, which includes a weekend away. But this may sound a bit daunting for non-Christians.. but what we hope is at least they could come for the first three meetings, and if they find it interesting, some would continue on...

If you're not a Christian reading this.. just want to say that what we are doing is not to convert people or force anyone to believing in our faith.. I'm sure there would be people out there who are searching for the meaning of life, or even curious to know what the Christian faith is all about... and this is a great opportunity to find out for yourself.

As for me and my friends from CCF, I think to start with, we need to pray hard and to align ourselves with God's will.. to share His Word in love and in deeds..

And for myself, I know I really need to discipline myself and time.. Yes, I know I have said it many times but with not much success... but I just have to do it.. albeit one step at a time! (actually maybe I am not that much of an addict as I just turne on my pc at 11pm today!) :p