Today is the last day of 2005...
To be exact.. it's just a mere 6 1/2 hours till we usher in the new year. How time flies.. (hmmm.. such sentiments is deja vu in my blog :p)
Have been having rather care-free thus stress-free days as I am still officilly on leave. Actually one of the main reason I took leave between Christmas and new year, is that besides R& R (rest and relax) I want to spend some time for my other R&R (reflections and resolutions).
However, I didn't quite achieve that. For I spent most of times either having fun going out, catching up with friends and relatives, and the some inevitable work that I needed to complete. In between, I also idled a little... and it did feel pure bliss. Such luxury I had not indulged in for some time..
And.. now 2006 is just staring at us in the face! Although I didn't really do the second `R&R'! I guess it's not too late to pen some thoughts on my beloved blog.
I will not list the highlights of my life in year 2005 for that would be quite a list! (if you free, go through my archive but that's only since May). Rather I just want to ponder and reflect on the things about myself that I've been happy with and what I feel I've failed over the year..
1. Spiritual Life
Ok, confession time. On the surface, it looks like I was still as active as before in church ministries - in worship, in CCF (our peer group) and involved in various `projects' such as spearheading the evangelistic night, singing in the Christmas Cantata and so on... Yeah, I also continued to be attending both Sunday service and Friday peer group regualrly (unless for certain reason I missed them). BUT.. the big but is, in this year, I have become more of a Martha than a Mary. Christians would understand what I mean by this. While I'm still being `obedient' and doing God's work and ministires, the time I spent with the Lord in prayer, in reading Scriptures and the important quiet time/ personal devotions had dwindle to almost zero...(yes, it's that bad especially after I entered the blogosphere).. so much so that I would say my personal relationship and intimacy with the Lord has suffered inconsiderably. At times I feel spiritually dry.. I know it's not because God has been far from me but I have not made an effort to draw close to Him..
Compared the the year before,2004 was a more fulfilling year spiritually which saw me reading a couple of good Christian books and one of them is `Purpose Driven Life', as well a managed to have quiet time at least a total of half the year..
Although I know spiritual matters could not be measured quantitatively. the tme you set aside for God is an indication of how close you're to Him. So, my first and foremost resolution for 2006 is:
A. To have a closer personal walk and a more intimate relationship with the Lord
B. To develop and improve the `SPG' temperaments.
Hehe, the acronymn sounds dubious but the `SPG' challenge was something I have blogged at mid year but I don't think I've much improvement since.It stands for `Self Control', `Patience' and `Gentleness' - three of the components of the Fruit of the Spirit mentioned in Galatians: 5:22-23.
But I believe as I continue to seek the Lord, He will help and mould me to be more Christ-like, only if I let His Spirit to work in me..
2. Physical Life
Exercise and losing weight was something I was all positive and gunghu about when I began 2005 but I have failed miserably in this one!!
When work became more hectic and the travelling came, somehow my enthusiasm in attending the gym had also been affected.. Yes, I'm still a member and still paying monthly subscription but sad to say in the last two months especially I only went to gym ONCE! And besides gymning, I am one who would be least motivated to take up any other forms of exercises.
Battling with my fat and weight was another down the drain affair. While the first half of the year saw a determined me seeking `profeesional help' (which i would not go into details here) and doing my part to lose some weight to fair success.. the second half of the year not only I've piled back the weight, that glutton, no self-control, no will-power side of me when it comes to food (or anything good in that sense) won through. Which means, I sort of given up on diet ALTOGETHER - and indulged myself in any food I like to.. well, indulge in.
Needless to say, I think I'm fatter now than I was this time last year.
This diet and exercise resolution has been on my list since eons ago every new year. While I endeavoured into the `battle' in 2005 though the end result was less than ideal, I believe i shall soldier on and have a fresh start again!
C. To exercise regularly (twice a week)
D. Be on a sensible diet that leads to gradual weight loss
Even if I fail in January with CNY looming, I could try again in February.. at least I am not going to have that same attitude to exercise and dieting as I did in the last couple of months.
3. Relational Life
No, I am not talking about my love life (which is ziltch just for your information and it is NOT one of my resolution unless God Himself provides) Here I mean my relationship with my family, my friends, colleagues and the community I live in at large.
As Jesus is concerned about making relationship, I think what I could do as His child is also to model after him. Rather being task oriented, i want to be more a people-oriented person who is genuinely concern of other people's welfare. Living in the city and in the `rat race' means that we become more impersonal in our relationship with others. Yeah, most of us have a few very close friends or family members perhaps whom we could relate to. But sometimes it is worthwhile to `invest' in new friendship/relationship, at the same time re-foster a close ties with existing friends and people you know around you.
I heard this before: At your death bed, you won't think of your wealth, your work, your possessions but what you treasure most would be PEOPLE - ie. your family and your close friends..
This is very true.
E. To be more a people person and `invest' more time in caring for family, friends and anyone who needs a `friend'.
Only five resolutions this year? (well for B it encomposes quite a lot already). Also, there are other plans of course - like travelling, improving my vocal skilss, etc.. BUT I feel what I've mentioned are like the `foundation' of all other resolutions..
Last but not least, here's wishing everyone - friends of Jess' 2 Js' - a Happy, Healthy and Hopeful new year ahead.. May God bless you and keep you in 2006! :)