If a day is a year - I would say early morning is like fresh spring time, afternoon is well, hot summer, evenings signifying the sombre autumn and the night is gloomy winter.
How interesting - as this obvious simile just dawned on me..
Why? Because I just rediscovered the beauty and preciousness of mornings - that had eluded me for far too long.
I am a self-confessed `owl' - meaning I thrive and live my day to the wee hours of the morning. Since my last posting was with an afternoon paper and doing entertainment, my work-hours were so flexible that I used to wake up close to noon, grab lunch and only enter office - since my editor did that himself! I would work till around dinner time or later.. went home and slept only about 3am.
And then, since I became a freelance writer, my sleeping hours became even more ridiculous. I blamed the Internet for such a habit at first and then, my cousin who is an even chronic owl herself told me about DSPS (Delayed Sleep Phase Syndrome) so we both have a valid `medical' reason to justify our indulgence and lack of discipline.. and just blame it on having a `sleep disorder syndrome' that we had no control of..
Not that I am proud of it and in fact many times, I've mentally taken note to want to change and adjust this habit. I posted on FB and G-chat status that Ee-Tan wants to `kill the owl' But alas, the spirit is willing but the flesh is week. I continue to let myself be consumed by this so called DSPS and it came to a stage so bad that I was sleeping at close to 5am every day and wake up after 1pm!!
My day started only after 2pm and many times, I could not do the things I wanted to do because evening and nights also have their distractions.. I found myself not being productive and fruitful in my work. And then a few times I fell ill because of that - ie. after World Cup and also before my prolong flu from Shanghai.
Another area that took a toll from my sleeping habit was the quiet time and devotion with God. It's true that morning is the best time for devotions as I personally have experienced and agree. But during morning, I was in slumber land. When I got up, I quickly checked my emails/FB and then lunch and usually out after that. I was either watching Astro on Demand or glued to the PC and by the time I realised I had to sleep, it's like 4am plus? I was already too tired and felt it's too late to speak to God!!
But God is good! He pulled me back in time.. last week, I began to feel the stress from work - as I have quite a lot of on-going as well as new workload to keep me occupied. But because of my sleeping hours and also still trying to watch Astro and do many things, I couldn't get enough sleep. Instead of waking up after 1pm, I woke up earlier and could not sleep again.. That means I only had like 5-6 hours of sleep which was not enough for me (i'm one of those who need 8 optimum hours of sleep). The patterned continue for a few days until I decided to see my doctor for help and medication.
I already was exhausted in the last few days so I took the medication earlier (ie before midnight) And somehow automatically wake up earlier. Of course it took a few days to adjust.. Finally this morning, I woke up at 7:30am (thanks to puppy Jam), laid in bed a bit, and got ready by 8am. The birds were chirping still and the weather was good. Suddenly God prompted me to do my devotion.. and ya, it's the perfect timing!
So i took my Bible and some Bible reading aids and sat at our front patio, which Dad calls` JJ Corner' (not should be JJJ!) I prayed, sang some songs of praises and read 2 Corinthian 1. I haven't felt so close to God for ages.. even if I was in church service or leading songs on stage. There was a personal connection with Him and my soul felt lifted. Oh the joy of reading and meditating on His Word!
It was 8:30am or so when I had breakfast.. and I hadn't had breakfast except a rushed one on Sunday late morning before going to church. I practice my singing as I have vocal class at 2pn today, and then proceeded to the Internet to do the necessary things - work related mainly.
Now, it's almost noon and I had done so much already... I couldn't believe I still have more than half a day (of sunlight) ahead of me!! And I even wrote such a long blog entry! And imagine I have wasted all the mornings in my working adult life!!!?
I know it's not easy to change.. old habits die hard and maybe DSPS is true though most people don't buy it. But this vicious cycle has to be broken, once and for all.. These few days since I still have the medication to help me sleep well, I think I must aim to be in bed by midnight so that I have enough sleep and would get up in the morning!! And hopefully later I will adjust to live a `normal' life!
All I need is determination and discipline.. And I pray that God will give me the strength to do it.
Mornings are too beautiful and precious to waste away... where as the dark and quiet night (wee hours pre-morning) are best for slumbering anyway..
Yes, I finally see the light, and I want to see many many more beautiful mornings