People, I AM RESIGNING from the company which I've worked for in the last 12 years. And it's only the 2nd ever resignation in my whole working life so far.. (14 plus years?)
It's not a decision out of the blue. I've mulled over this for the last two months at least and now I'm certain that I need to move on, before I make myself more miserable by working here.
Well, some may wonder what's wrong with my job - which seems like a dream job to many - you know, rubbing shoulder (not exactly but close proximity) with celebrities, free concerts, shows, movies, flexible working hours etc.. the list can go on. Yes, I don't deny that I do enjoy the job of an ent. journalist, but the woes have now outweighed all those things..
Imagine your articles getting butchered, your writing styles stifled and so much limitation to the subjects you can write on. On top of that, you don't even believe in the product that you're writing in anymore. I know of many co-workers are disgruntled and disillusioned too..
I was like 95 per cent sure about this last Friday, after another problem that occured in my Twins' story. I thought and prayed long and hard over the weekend. Then as if it was a sign from the Almighty, I had my last straw today (but I didn't resign because this incident since yesterday I've contacted some other publications already).
As usual the story was cut short and even the angle altered, but worst of all, the `smart ass' ed who cleared my story took the liberty to CHANGE something to make it factually wrong, and that unfortunately reflected poorly on my interviewee, who called and cried foul, but thankfully he knew I didn't misquote him. Yes, of course I brought this up to the deputy editor who admitted it was a mistake and (to my slight surprise) asked me to do a correction to be published tomorrow..
This is not an isolated incident as blunders kept happening from time to time to others' work too.
I just couldn't take such crap anymore. I know I need to leave as soon as I can as I have to give two months notice.
So, just now I typed my resignation letter to be handed it tomorrow. Now, it was quite a challenge as I had not done this like ages! I asked some friends just now and even resorted to research on the Net.
The wording was tricky too. I don't want to be too curt neither do I want to write chummy stuff which would make me feel like a hypocrite. For whatever problems I have encountered, afterall, this is a place I've worked 12 years and there were good memories too.. maybe not so with this `new, revamped paper'.
This is what I wrote.
Dear Sir,
So how do I feel? Well, to be honest, it is very much mixed feelings.. this is like the only company I have worked with (my first magazine also belonged to this company then) It's almost like a 2nd home with its relaxed, informal environment. Basically, I've built up my journalism career here - I've gotten the chance to meet many people, go places, covered some exciting and memorable assignments, learned a lot about all kinds of things and made many friends and acquaintances.
Sentimental feelings aside, I also feel relief, yet apprehensive and excited at the same time. It's what an editor (not my paper) told me. There are doors open and opportunities else where. Because I've been `stuck' in that place so long, I have not really looked. And she already assured me that she wants me to contribute to her paper.
Yeah, I haven't found a new job.. I will be looking around and I pray for directions and opportunities. There are various options.. I might even do some freelance first and take a break before starting in a full-time job again.
Of course, I won't give up writing. Being a journalist is still something I definitely want to do and probably something I know I can do.. :p
I will find out when my last day will be but that would be in October.. and after that, I'll be entering another chapter of my career life.. which I am placing it in the hands of the Lord.
p.s. In this post, I've not mentioned the name of my company but those know me and my regualr readers will know anyway.. whatever written here are my personal feelings and opinions.
8 comments:
Oops, I guess that was the straw which broke the camel's back. Personally I think the publication won't survive. So many people tell me they cancelled their subscriptions on it and they don't buy it as it's crap.
Maybe you can reapply to the other publications esp the one which is in the same company?
Hi Jesscet, thanks for sharing about your decision to leave MM today. I feel sad to lose another colleague, but I am glad you have finally prepared to move on for your own sake and to step into and adventurous future. I guess the question of to go or not to go has been in the pipeline for awhile, and when destiny beckons you have to move on - for your own mental as well as your emotional health. And that time happens to be now. There is no perfect, clean cut answer/ You have thought long and hard about it which is enough to based your decision upon. When you can't change the world you have to change yourself, and at this point it is about leaving. I am sorry there is no huge farewell party in memory of your 12 year service in this company, but why do you want a superficial gathering anyway. You know how the real world is here. Important thing is you remembered all the good times, and the people you met which keeps your heart warm. So keep the conversation going. Well, this is not the end, I am sure you will bounce back pretty soon, and nothing will quell the writing spirit within you. Afterall, we all live in the internet world where the bandwith is the limit.
Whatever you do from henceforth, make the best out of your life. Age is catching up will all of us. It is not about which company you work for, but it is about what you want, and what you do with your life from now on. Like they say, life is short, make use of this opportunity to be the best you can be once in your lifetime. I wish you all the best in all your future. Have fun, be productive, and make the difference that you want to see in the world. (The world is ready, are you?) And I am just a phone call away.
Thank you and God bless.
Gerald
Hi Jesscet,
I would like to say 'congratulations' in your finally making your decision. I must say I am shocked to read that u are resigning, but when I mulled over what u must have gone through, this must be a RELIEF for you.
I know what it is like to leave that part of your life behind. So I wish you all the best and that the Lord will guide you as he did me. CHeers.
I am shocked too, but I applaud your bravery. We must fight for the future that we want rather than resign ourselves to situations, right? So chin up, I know you're going places!
PS: What you're doing is really inspiring to me ... it kinda encouraged me in something I have to do. :)
Thanks folks! appreciate your encouraging words. Yeah i feel relief and happy though a little anxious. As of now, I don't know where/what I'll be doing next but I am looking around...if any of u know of any openings, do let me know! :)
Ruth: i `inspired' you? don't tell me u're thinking of resigning too? :o
Haha, not not resign. But something equally 'brave' in my opinion! Don't know why, I think normal people will not be worried about doing what I'm going to do, but I'm scared! More on my blog later today. ;)
Ruth: read your blog and commented. hehe, at least u are secured with a job anyhow.. not like me. but if u were in my shoes, i think u would `cabut' too!
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