People, I AM RESIGNING from the company which I've worked for in the last 12 years. And it's only the 2nd ever resignation in my whole working life so far.. (14 plus years?)
It's not a decision out of the blue. I've mulled over this for the last two months at least and now I'm certain that I need to move on, before I make myself more miserable by working here.
Well, some may wonder what's wrong with my job - which seems like a dream job to many - you know, rubbing shoulder (not exactly but close proximity) with celebrities, free concerts, shows, movies, flexible working hours etc.. the list can go on. Yes, I don't deny that I do enjoy the job of an ent. journalist, but the woes have now outweighed all those things..
Imagine your articles getting butchered, your writing styles stifled and so much limitation to the subjects you can write on. On top of that, you don't even believe in the product that you're writing in anymore. I know of many co-workers are disgruntled and disillusioned too..
I was like 95 per cent sure about this last Friday, after another problem that occured in my Twins' story. I thought and prayed long and hard over the weekend. Then as if it was a sign from the Almighty, I had my last straw today (but I didn't resign because this incident since yesterday I've contacted some other publications already).
As usual the story was cut short and even the angle altered, but worst of all, the `smart ass' ed who cleared my story took the liberty to CHANGE something to make it factually wrong, and that unfortunately reflected poorly on my interviewee, who called and cried foul, but thankfully he knew I didn't misquote him. Yes, of course I brought this up to the deputy editor who admitted it was a mistake and (to my slight surprise) asked me to do a correction to be published tomorrow..
This is not an isolated incident as blunders kept happening from time to time to others' work too.
I just couldn't take such crap anymore. I know I need to leave as soon as I can as I have to give two months notice.
So, just now I typed my resignation letter to be handed it tomorrow. Now, it was quite a challenge as I had not done this like ages! I asked some friends just now and even resorted to research on the Net.
The wording was tricky too. I don't want to be too curt neither do I want to write chummy stuff which would make me feel like a hypocrite. For whatever problems I have encountered, afterall, this is a place I've worked 12 years and there were good memories too.. maybe not so with this `new, revamped paper'.
This is what I wrote.
It's short and `sweet'. But took me almost an hour to do it as I was trying to find the right wording for the timing of resignation. Yours sincerely
So how do I feel? Well, to be honest, it is very much mixed feelings.. this is like the only company I have worked with (my first magazine also belonged to this company then) It's almost like a 2nd home with its relaxed, informal environment. Basically, I've built up my journalism career here - I've gotten the chance to meet many people, go places, covered some exciting and memorable assignments, learned a lot about all kinds of things and made many friends and acquaintances.
Sentimental feelings aside, I also feel relief, yet apprehensive and excited at the same time. It's what an editor (not my paper) told me. There are doors open and opportunities else where. Because I've been `stuck' in that place so long, I have not really looked. And she already assured me that she wants me to contribute to her paper.
Yeah, I haven't found a new job.. I will be looking around and I pray for directions and opportunities. There are various options.. I might even do some freelance first and take a break before starting in a full-time job again.
Of course, I won't give up writing. Being a journalist is still something I definitely want to do and probably something I know I can do.. :p
I will find out when my last day will be but that would be in October.. and after that, I'll be entering another chapter of my career life.. which I am placing it in the hands of the Lord.
p.s. In this post, I've not mentioned the name of my company but those know me and my regualr readers will know anyway.. whatever written here are my personal feelings and opinions.