Oh! what have I done?! :((

I'm still traumatised. The feeling of anger is now diverted to guilt and yes, anger as well.

I couldn't believe that it was me who caused so much pain to Jojo! And all the while I thought it was another dog that snipped off his tail end!

After bringing Jojo to the 24-hour vet and waited for a one-hour operation that ended at 1am, I came home to discover the shocking and painful truth. I have slammed the back door on Jojo without realising because I was at my wits' end to try to get Jasor out!

Yeah, Jasor is my neighbour's poor Golden Retriever which was always locked up but sometimes gets his lease of `freedom' when he was allowed to come out and roam about at night. Which of course, is a bad and wrong way of doing it - you're supposed to walk your dog and not just let it run amok!

Anyway, I didn't realise he has come into my house after I drove my car in. It's not the first time and I thought just let it be for a while and even let my two dogs play with him in the garden. Finally after the TV episode finished, i decided it's time to get Jasor out. But no, he wouldn't listen and if my two Js' were around, it's impossible to let Jasor out without the two getting out as well. So I had to chase my dogs inside the house first. And while Jelly was willing, Jojo wasn't. I had to push him in almost and then I slammed the door. But then after a short while, both came out again! (Jojo could open from inside out!) I got so fed-up and by this time my maid came out so I handed the job to her while I went inside again.. But just one minute later, i heard she screamed for me. When I opened the front door, I saw a lot of blood on the floor! And both my maid and mom were asking me to look at Jojo's tail!

Jasor meanwhile was chased out by my maid. My first reaction was that Jojo and Jasor had a fight and Jasor had attacked him! My maid who was outside even said both the dogs were fighting for a while before she chased Jasor out. Jojo was still active but his tail end was soaked in blood and still dripping! And then I heard another scream. My other maid found Jojo's tail end and she was almost in tears. Anger actually overcome me more than anything. I charged over to my neighbour's house and rang the bell. And then when the teenage son (Jasor's owner) came out, I practically yelled at him and told him that he was a irresponsible dog owner (this statement I held on). I saw Jasor on the road side and just glared at him. He looked scared somehow. And then he even followed me again into my house and this time I felt like keeping him for a ransom to teach his owner a lesson.

By now I think I had to bring Jojo to the 24-hour vet as the bleeding was very bad.. we tried bandaging his injured area but soon blood soaked through. Oh and as I was preparing to drive Jojo to hospital, that boy came by in his scooter and took his dog back. When I showed him what happened to Jojo, he said he would take care of the bill. I said `you better do!'

The journey to the vet seemed so long because there was road work. And Jojo was getting very restless and I believe he was in pain. I was so afraid that no one was there but my fear proved unfounded as there was a vet as well as assistant, who came down to greet us and led us upstairs. This is the same place that I brought Jelly last year for emergency treatment.

After examining Jojo's injury for a while, the Dr said they would need to do an operation because his bone was exposed and they need to stitch it back with his flesh! And yes Jojo made a mess of the room with his blood.. By that time I couldn't help but cried a little.. seeing my dog in such a shape. I was told it was not life threatening but definitely needed immediate treatment.. Dr said we could either stay or go when he does that hour-long operation and I chose to stay. I wanted to see Jojo after the operation.. and yes, he needed to be warded at least for the night.

Jojo was given two doses of G.A. and finally knocked out. One hour plus later, with some peeping into the operation room, it was completed but Jojo was still heavily sedated. Dr said everything went fine but it would take at least 10 days for the area to dry up. Poor Jojo looked so stone and his tongue kept coming out because he was feeling very dry. We saw them putting him into one of the large cages and he looked relaxed enough now.

I was told that by tomorrow afternoon, he probably can go home. I was briefed on the estimated cost too. It's not cheap but not more than I expected either knowing how expensive animal treatment is.

So my maid and I reached home at 1:30am. And as I walked around the kitchen and back area, I noticed some blood stain still on the wall. That raised my suspicion because if it was Jasor which bit Jojo, there shouldn't be any blood inside the kitchen! They were outside after I went in and Jojo never came in after that. So I asked the maid who cleaned up the place and also found the tail end. She told me there was lots of blood near the back door and on the floor, and now she said that she found Jojo's tail end just by the back door!!

Suddenly I felt my hair standing on my arms.. Oh Gosh! It was me! It wasn't Jasor. I had slammed the door onto Jojo's tail without knowing. Mom had actually suggested that was a possibility but I thought she meant the front door cos I only saw blood there. But the fact was there was even MORE blood from Jojo around the back door.

Yes, this was even more traumatising than thinking it was another dog that hurt my dog. I was and still am angry with myself. But at the same time, I feel a little `relief' in the sense that I know Jasor had not betrayed me. After all, I was the one who was concerned of his welfare and we had always been good friends - him with me and him with my dogs.

When I had to confess this to my mom, she seemed not surprised! She was logical in that she said it was highly unlikely that Jasor and Jojo would fight in such vicious way when they had been friends with each other for so long. Why didn't I think of it? Maybe dad was right, I'm always just too impulsive.

So tomorrow after taking Jojo home, I would have to go to my neighbour to tell him the truth. I was still hoping I don't have to fork out the hefty bill but of course my conscience won't allow me to do that. On top of that, I do not want to wrongly blame Jasor for something he didn't do. Although he indirectly contributed to the accident (cos I was trying to chase him out!)

Sigh, what drama and what a night. My poor Jojo. I hope he is sleeping well at the vet and praying that his injury would heal completely soon...

This bad mommy must not be so impulsive nor careless anymore..