Wither de blog?

I have been blogging for five years now.. and I sigh at the pathetic state of this blog in its current form..

Looking back to the beginning, when I started this blog out of impulse and dedicated it to my two pooches - hence the name `Jess' two Js'.. I blogged enthusiastically and tirelessly, for the first couple of months, everything about my two dogs - including half-baked doggerel.

Then, as I ran out of things to talk about my dogs, it became my own blog - a `lifestyle' blog as it is known.. I blogged very frequently - at least twice or more a week, on everything mildly interesting that happened in my life - thoughts, events, food, travels etc.. and I took great pride in my blog.. as it has more or less chronicled all the worth-while memories that I would like to remember..

I don't know since when I have lost steam.. I even considered a couple of times in the last two years, taking a hiatus, or even stopping to blog altogether.. But of course I didn't give up. And at least there would be a couple of entries in a month or so.. But i must admit sometimes I kinda `forced' myself to come out with something to write, just for the sake of `updating' my blog!

I had wanted to do a `commemorative post' of sort to mark the 5th anniversary of blogging - which actually fell in the beginning of this month. But I forgot.. and many personal things had kept me occupied so much that the only blog post this month was something quite heart-felt.

Anyway, whey am I writing this post? I don't know.. in a way, as a freelance writer whose job is quite unstable, I really begin to feel that I have lost my flair for writing. For about half the work I do is monotonous, non-creative type of writing. And on the other hand, I have neglected this blog, which could serve as a platform for a more free flow type of writing. Sigh.. I am seriously beginning to doubt myself as a writer. Can i really write??!

Ok, self-pity aside, and since I'm an optimist, I can foresee there will be some topics worth blogging about. Actually I started a blog post last Thursday morning, when I was flabbergasted with American Idol's finale result! I was rooting for Crystal Bowersox - who undoubtedly was the most outstanding contestant for the insipid Season 9. And she performed very well on the finale performance show.. but again, almost repeating last year's shocking result, she lost to a guy who is pretty good, maybe more marketable, but definitely less brilliant than she was. And not mentioning bordering a boring personality. Here were the few lines I began with but had lost the steam to complete it...

I was holding my breath when Ryan Seacrest was about to announce the winner of American Idol this morning..

And I couldn't believe my ears!! Although deep in my heart I already had this hunch.. Again, for the 2nd year in a row, the clearly better contestant was robbed of the crowned!!

Ok, this was by far the most bored Idol seasons in years.. but amidst it, Crystal Bowersox was a sparkling star and had been consistently good with her choice of songs and her crystal clear, powerful vocals...

Oh well..

June is around the corner! And what's a bigger thing than the once-in-four-year Fifa World Cup? Yup, I am a World Cup fan although I don't watch much of other footballs including the Premier League. But since 1986 when the amazing Maradona led Argentina to win the Cup, I was hooked.. And had been following diligently the game of one-month every four years.. So ya, guess that would be something that I would blog about!

I guess the irony that although there may be things I would like to write about, I know there will be audience and sometimes I self-censor, especially something quite personal like relationships..

So, in the meantime, I guess I would not even call myself a blogger anymore.. unless I am once again inspired to really keep this blog as a close friend, whom I would like share my life and happenings and everything else that matter to me..

Till then..